If they could, they wouldn’t even let you die

Posted: August 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

Who is that… digging at my grave? The wife?
She could never get enough of me.
Poor thing. Life will never be the same
for her…

No, she’s remarried. In fact she’s happier with
her new husband than she ever was with you.

Well someone’s up there. Could it be
my daughter… my only reason for living?
The only one I’m sad to never see again….

No, she’s getting along fine. As a matter of fact,
she was feeling pretty sad for a while.
She didn’t like
her new daddy at first, but she’s coming

Mom? Don’t tell me it’s you…
haven’t you done enough?

I am not your mother. She is hundreds
and hundreds of miles away.

Then perhaps… it’s one of my friends?

Who are you kidding?
You have no friends.

Oh yah… now that I think about it…
you’re right… I guess that’s sad, isn’t it?
Then it must be an enemy….

Nope. You’re enemies are too distracted
by their successes in both love and money.

Then who the hell is it?

We have never met.

What are you… a grave robber?

Not exactly.

A pervert? As if I cared.
Do your worst.

You wish.

Then what the fuck
do you want?

Actually I’m with a collection agency.
I’m here to inform you that you still owe
a good 50k in student loans, your house
and car are no where near being paid off
and with your unpaid credit card bills
you owe yet another $20,000.

So what? I’m dead.

Yah. About that. I’m afraid Mr. Cloyd
that we’ll have to revoke your death
until your debts have been
paid in full.

But I have no money.

That’s ok, you can work it off.

How long will
That take?

Hmm. Let’s see… add it all up
plus 24% interest…
divided by minimum wage—
uh holy shit.

‘Uh holy shit’? What
does that mean?

It means that you
won’t be allowed to die
a long, long while dead man.

  1. I wrote this one about a year ago. It’s a parody of one of Thomas Hardy’s poems entitled, “Ah, Are You Digging at My Grave?” http://www.online-literature.com/hardy/909/ One can never do the original, but I combined the form he used, and injected it with a little anxiety about compulsory labor that I’ve had since I can ever remember.

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